[217] ~*Sun – 10/11/18*~

[10:22 pm]

I wanted to die this morning, I felt horrible. I didn’t wanted to go to work but I had too. I was supposed to work with another supervisor so my plan was to find a replacement for me and bring myself to the hospital cause this is just crazy. My chest still feels very tight, I have an almost constant headache and I had even started pain in my back. This is scaring me so badly as I never felt like this before. Of course when I got to work, I was working with a regular staff as they had changed the schedule so I couldn’t leave. I managed to work my full shift and didn’t feel too too bad but I just want to be done with all of this. I also totally forgotten to take my pill when I had my lunch so now I don’t know if I should take another one before bed or just skip it.

So yea, although I wasn’t feeling well at all today, working wasn’t too bad and went by fairly quickly. I felt terrible cause the store was in such a mess but the manager didn’t say anything so that’s good. I also had to fix a bunch of mistakes that this new supervisor did last night. I always seem to be the one fixing things.

I didn’t go out for pizza tonight as I normally do on Sun’s after work. I decided to be good as I eat out way too much. I made myself some mash potatoes with boiled wieners and it was delicious. 

Surprisingly, I’m not working at the store tomorrow night. She made me work for my Bday and tomorrow I’m off. Pfft! I’m not even sure if we’ll be going to the Casino cause it’s starting to be a waste as we never win.

I’m still thinking about that lawn that I destroyed by parking there when it wasn’t frozen. I really hate how I let things affect me so badly. Why am I even thinking about it?! I mean, I can’t do anything about it now as it’s still winter. I still have another month or two before I can do anything so why is it constantly bugging me?! I keep saying, being me is very exhausting. I just hope I can figure out something to fix it when time comes.

Time for a nice relaxing bath cause gosh do I ever need one.




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