I am reading a couple of books that I bought at the ISI conference. They are well written but really step on my toes. One thing that the author said when he was speaking at the conference is how important it is to become a man. It’s true….. I wasn’t a man for my family. When was very bold in telling us that it doesn’t matter how much money or belongings we have, or how many women we have been with, or how much beer we can drink……. Becoming a man is being a man of integrity and being a man where it is important. Having solid unwavering faith. Growing in the Lord. Being an example for the family etc. I provided for my family but I failed in many areas where it was important. I was talking to my sister today about how much it aches me to look back and see my chaos. It is easy to see when you have your mind clear. It literally scares me and makes me ache for my beautiful bride and what she had to endure because I wasn’t being a man. She declares that it is too late for us but I believe otherwise. Just like the married couple said last night (who did their testimony) “do not look at the natural”. They said that their 38 years of marriage was only by the grace of God. They also said to never have a “victim” mentality. Good stuff. I have been guilty of pouting like a “victim”. Ughhh, It frustrates me to look back on the old me but God says that he doesn’t remember my sin….. so I shouldn’t either!!! I am excited to keep seeing all of the amazing things that God is doing in my life and my family. I will have a powerful testimony once my family is restored!!! God’s perfect timing!!! His promises are exciting!!!