[220] ~*Wed – 03/14/18*~

[6:46 pm]

I ended up leaving the hospital at 3:30 am and pissed off. Like I had said, I waited all those hours for nothing cause everything came back normal. She stuck a freaking stick up my nose to test for the flu which I will only have the results in like 2-3 days if it’s positive. I knew going to the hospital was a waste of my freaking time. Every time I go there, it’s always nothing but yet I feel like shit. I was basically told to finish my antibiotics and that there wasn’t anything else that could be done. My chest hurts and it’s now in my back as well. The fuck?! How can everything be okay when I feel so shitty?! Hub told me he was about to bring me into the psych ward cause I keep saying I will jump off a bridge very soon. I’m just so damn tired.

We got home and had some McDonald’s cause I was starving and had to eat to take my pill. I then puked some mucus. I really didn’t wanted too cause I was scared to puke back my pill but I got to the bathroom, coughed and it just started coming out. I had been holing on to it all day so I guess it had to come out. I know it’s time to make myself puke when I start coughing which I had for like half an hour or so but I didn’t wanted to puke at the hospital. I went to bed, read just a few pages and took my pill to sleep. I had about seven hours and a half to sleep. I woke up this morning before my alarm and actually got out of bed to see how the weather was and of course, it wasn’t too bad so I knew I wouldn’t get any cancellation but I really didn’t felt like going to work. I’m so exhausted! I called the office which called my clients to see if they would cancel without really asking them to cancel. The first one did but of course the second one, his mom was like “Doesn’t matter what it’s like outside, he can still go out.” Really?! That just pisses me off. You let your mentally challenged adult kid go out in a storm for nothing?! Arg! I ended up doing the cancelling cause where we normally go was closed due to the weather so I really had nothing to do with him and didn’t wanted to just drag him along for three hours cause I had no where to go myself. Blah! 

It’s really nice outside at the moment but I ended up cancelling my last client as well cause I just didn’t felt like going out for two hours at this point. I’m still exhausted and I know I need the rest. I feel so damn horrible for cancelling the last client as really I didn’t have any real excuse but I just did. I know I need to think about myself sometimes but gosh do I ever feel horrible when I do.

I decided to get some pizza delivered cause I had to eat and I didn’t felt like making anything. I need to stop eating out but I’ve just been feeling so blah by being sick and no one being able to help me.

Hub is currently in bed and I’ve took a shower and am doing the laundry right now. As always, I’m not sure I’ll be putting it away but at least it’s done. This is another reason why I didn’t wanted to go out with my last client tonight. I have to get up for eight tomorrow morning so I need to go to bed super early tonight and that said, I wasn’t sure I’d have time to shower and I just needed to shower.

I’ve been fighting myself so very badly not to go to bed right now or earlier. I’m just always so tired. Bleh!

Beside that, I think I might have done a mistake. I download a dance game on my phone and I’m already addicted. Not good! I kinda been wondering about going back to dance game on the PC but in the end I checked on my phone if there was a game and of course, there was. 

Well, I should get going with my stuff if I really want to go to bed early tonight. I still need to put away some dishes, get the garbage ready, dry my hair and catch up on shows.




2 thoughts on “[220] ~*Wed – 03/14/18*~”

  1. Are you drinking plenty of water? I’m glad you can sleep at night. I’m up typing this because I can’t sleep. I’m sorry you are so tired all the time. I know how that feels. Drinking more pure water helped me with that. That’s why I asked. Hugs to you.

  2. @ savedbygrace; Thank you for the comment, I appreciate. I probably don’t drink as much as I should and surely don’t drink enough water. Water actually makes me feel worse right now with the mucus situation. I’m so drained because of puking this mucus, it takes all my energy and I can’t seem to be able to recuperate. I just can’t wait for it all to go away. *hugs*

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