My dad went to my house and used his key ( I don’t even want him having it and it’s not his house, contrary to his delusion) while I wasn’t home.  I asked him not to move anything around and clean because I know where everything is where I put it, which would look messy to him.  He doesn’t like anything on the table or counters, etc.  He left some money.  That’s cool.  He fixed the front door deadbolt lock.  Also cool.  But he did move stuff and also threw away a Safe at Home pamphlet that I need after I move.  I am being stalked so I need that pamphlet eventually.  Weird.  He says he’ll change the locks on the first.  I bet he’ll take a key too or insist on one.  The police say they don’t know enough about civil law to make him give me my key back.  Oy.  I hope it goes well when and if he changes the locks.  I can’t afford it and he knows I’m being stalked all these years and that people get in and I’ve been raped inside my home.  I’ve also been cut about 10-12 times, with some leaving scars.  I was fast asleep in my locked up tight home when it happened every time.  They won’t let me live with them, not that I really want to and say they have no safe place for me to live.  I cannot go to a domestic violence shelter (stalking is DV and abuse and also a completed crime, not one about to happen) as I don’t have a car anymore and can’t follow their safety protocols.  This sucks.  It’s been 8 years.  With the way my parents have been spending money they supposedly don’t have, I’m sure they could have rented an apartment for me and then when I get disability, I could take over the rent.  Oy vey.  They won’t even sign over one of their 4 vehicles to me and I offered to pay them back.  My mom laughed.  Crud.  Hate this so much.  Hard living with so much terror and fear that is reality based and not just some stupid anxiety for no reason.  Plus the malicious gossip/slander has ruined my life.  That’s why I was let go from my full time job 8 years ago.  That’s why people have a bias and sometimes discriminate against me.  They lie about my son, my parents and my brother.  Like every day and nights.  Getting electronically harassed isn’t helping.  The police officers don’t usually take me seriously.  So obvious crimes and criminals go free and nothing happens.  I mean they’ll check it out but say they can’t break in to help anyone in their homes.  I just want to help the other victims before I’m murdered or kidnapped.  Seriously.  So many attempts to kidnap me.  $2000 to murder me.  Seriously, who would put a hit on a widow who doesn’t do anything to anyone like me?  I don’t drink or do drugs.  I don’t owe anyone money.  I’m not in organized crime or in a gang or anything.  I just don’t understand.  Of course, asocial violence needs no reason.  I can’t even get them to stop lying about my child or the rest of my family or any friend or anyone they interrogate me about!  FUCK!  Geesh, I could use a xanax.  Used to have a prescription years ago, within the last 8 years of being stalked.  Now too broke to get Adderall or Xanax that was prescribed by my doctor.  I’m just a broke ass white bitch who doesn’t matter in this big old bad world.  I feel more for my son who is just a child (to me anyway) who can’t stop anyone from lying about him or anything either, of course.  I’m his mom.  I feel like I should be able to but no matter how hard I try, they won’t stop.  I can take what I take and suffer through it.  I don’t want that for my child.  Motherfuckers need to stop and apparently aren’t going to.  There are other victims besides myself in St Louis.  This shit needs to stop so we can all be safe for real.  I can’t look on the bright side or think of the good right now.  Sorry.  I’m too heartbroken and sometimes angry.  Can’t cry all the time.  My poor baby and my family, we didn’t do anything to anyone.  Pray for us.  All of us, me and mine and all of St Louis.  Thanks 


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