You can always say that things are going to get better, without even considering the amount of hope that you are giving one person in that particular moment. Hope is a strong passion that you believe in purely to make you feel momentarily better. There is no understanding the sheer impact you can have on someone just by giving them hope.
My hope has been slowly building up throughout the beginning of this year, throughout the constant support of one person. You do not truly believe the impact that one person can have on you until you realise that they are the one holding you up throughout your journey. I never had believed that that sort of support existed.
Throughout the beginning of this year i have suffered a total of four losses to my close family, as well as the lost of a close friend. This would have been enough for anyone, however i also had to go through a very traumatic break up which seemed to last over two months, purely due to the persistence of the man that i had gone out with. He had led himself to believe that our relationship would last forever, and there was nothing that could stop it. However this belief is what had tore us apart. Due to the constant intensity of our relationship, which later turned into an obsession. So far to that when i eventually pulled away, i was constantly suffering from unwanted messages, phone calls, ad even visits. Finally as the news of our break up finally sunk in for him i soon later received messages of abuse, and late night phone calls purely out of spite to bully me and mock me about the unfortunate beginning i had suffered to my year.
Now, eventually all this has subsided, I have been able to focus on the new direction my life is heading in. And this seems to be able to be turning for the better. Due to one person.
Although i had received much support from friends and family, i had been able to make a best friend who has been here for me every day since. Who now i believe, i am growing to love.
We have a passionate kind of friendship, that results in deep conversations, and the constant sharing of all of our thoughts and feelings at that moment. We are there for each other all the time, constantly holding each other up, looking up to each others strength. Keeping each other as happy as we can possibly be, despite what has gone on in the past. We spend so much time together and know each other so well that our relationship has escalated into a relationship with certain benefits. These benefits could, for most, bypass the normal boundaries of friendship. However due to the past experiences that we have both had in relationships, we are both put off the overall ideal of an intimate relationship.
However as time slowly crawls by, I begin to crave that stage of the relationship, but the conversations I would have to have scare me. Therefore all i can do is wait.