Teared for the first time

So today’s test for law had just ended
Was supposed to be confident that I won’t end off the paper with any regrets
But now it turns out that I’m overwhelmed with full regrets and for the first time I teared right after a paper.

Did I just mention teared?
Yes. It is this exaggerating
I teared for the first time in an exam hall in my 22 years life as a student
I just teared silently and trying so hard to hide my tears in front of everyone else
Cos I was so desperate for marks, so desperate to get out of this school, so desperate to be out of where I’m stuck at..
My soon to explode emotions.. It is this so overwhelming.. I’m literally going crazy at any point of time

A paper so full of regrets because of the exact same questions that I’ve attempted 1 year ago
I could have taken the advantage to score well but why didn’t I?
Why didn’t the thought of past years questions could have resurface in the test came to me?
Yet what’s the point of fretting over spilt milk anymore..?

I’m just totally disappointed, disappointed at myself
Am I really loving myself?
Sometimes I even doubt about it..

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