[223] ~*Sat – 03/17/18*~

[9:57 am]

I was so full of hope this morning as my throat was clear when I got out of bed. It is so not anymore. I wake up and it’s a nice feeling to feel your airway clear but about 10 mins after, it starts filing up. I currently feel like I’m suffocating and I hate the feeling. My head and eyes are feeling better but that’s about it. I just wanted to go back to bed this morning, I really wanted to call in my first client but I just hate myself afterward so I forced myself out the door.

I slept not too bad but woke up a few times to go pee. Hub got out of bed at some point during the night and I did so good, I didn’t look at the time. I didn’t look at the time at all during the night/morning so the alarm got me out of bed. I was still tired though. It just seems very hard to recuperate from all the puking I’ve been doing. If only I’d know it would get me somewhere but I’m losing hope of ever feeling better. My days are getting so hard to deal with. Wouldn’t be so bad if I could make myself puke when I feel the need but I obviously can’t do it while working and it drains me so much. If only life wasn’t so hard and we didn’t depend on our paychecks so much I would be taking a week off to try and let my body rest. I just can’t afford losing all that time.

Anyways, I’m currently at Tim’s with a client and as always, wondering why we’re even here as we’re both on our phones. I could be sleeping right now. I just feel terrible for always thinking about sleep but it’s pretty much all I can ever think about. 

I didn’t take my car today cause I’m assuming it will smell of paint. I didn’t even try cause the other car was parked in front anyways. I don’t know how I feel about my car as the front is now a bit shinier. Oh well! I feel super bad about all those spots where the paint is now peeling. I should of really asked them how much it would cost to get them all fix so my car can look nice. Then again, do I really want to spend that kind of money on that?! I just don’t know as I seem to have really bad luck with the car.

I was looking at my hair and that new color we’re using is weird. It was more like redish but it seems to be becoming more pink with every wash. I kinda like the color it is right now but I’m getting my hair done in like two weeks so yea. At least this color is working out. My purple has started fading at some spots. I think I scrub too much at certain spots so it’s time to flip the hair to try and hide the spots. Haha!




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