morning

I don’t think he spent much time in bed with me last night.  I feel like he doesn’t want to share the same bed with me.  I want out so bad but I cant go because I don’t have any money.  He asked me last night if I wanted out of us so bad…if I wanted to end it.  I think he was really serious about being with me.  I can only imagine what he’s texting that bitch while we’re fighting.  He won’t look at me and gets mad if I look at him.  He’s sober.  I wish he wouldn’t drink so much.  I’ve noticed that he’s drinking a lot more since we’ve been together.  That makes me think its something I’m doing….he doesn’t want to be with me and he’s not happy.  I think we’ll be better apart.  Especially since he’s complaining about spending too much time together and missing being alone.  He doesn’t want to be with me.  I’m sure he’d rather be with the bitch.  Now he’s going to have the time.  I’m going back home.  I left to find happiness and now I realize I’m never going to find it.  If I’m slated to be alone I might as well be in Dallas living in the streets where I belong.

5 thoughts on “morning”

  1. he didnt want to go w/you huh. imho he sounds like just a good fuck. not someone you’d be w/long term and grow old with. sorry.

  2. Hi, I M new here and read all of your recent blogs. I think you know exactly what to do. I am certain of it. What is stopping you is fear of being alone and of having to change yourself. You CAN change the things you don;t like about yourself. The first thing you need to do is get as far away from him as possible and never go back. You are enabling him and destroying any self esteem you may have in the process. It is a pretty simple thing. Leave him and forget you ever knew him. Find a support group of people who can help you and stick with them. This man has you up and down daily and it is because he is so screwed up. Find your true self. Get away from this sick man and seek positive and loving, caring and helpful people to surround yourself with. You know you need to do this so just do it. I know because I have been there. That was many years ago and I havent allowed a man to use me or mess with my head in any way since all those years ago. Good Luck

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