Sunday March 18th

I have had a pretty good weekend. I met my friends downtown yesterday for a few hours. I was home before 9 – not my choice at the time, but  definitely for the best. I drank 5 beers and 1 Jager Bomb. I was pretty drunk. I didn’t feel too bad today, though because I stopped there and got sleep. I was supposed to go to out with the surgeon tonight, but I never heard from him. What the hell? He texted me yesterday, but not a word today. Ugh. I know full well that surgeons are ego maniacs with god complexes. He did me bad the last time- we went out and he said the whole lets do this again bullshit, and then never called. I’m not sure what my response is going to be if and when he contacts me again. 

I did get all of my notebooks graded today and entered in IC. John and I went over to school and took back the ones I brought home on Friday and took the last class set home. I also graded the papers I had brought home and got those in IC. John and I walked yesterday and today. Not very far- less than 2 miles Saturday and about 2.5 miles today, but at least it’s a start. I need to exercise for my mental health, and my dog needs to exercise for his health. I am just so damned tired when I get home, I don’t feel like doing anything but laying on the couch then going to bed. I honestly do think that next year if I only have 6th grade, I will be able to work less. I will be taking classes, but I don’t think that will be as stressful as teaching two grades. I really hate teaching 7th grade. Have I mentioned that? Ha. 

I am going to start taking care of myself again. I went and got my nails done today and that alone made me feel like a million bucks. The cold hard truth in life is that attractive people get further. It’s stupid to let yourself go. I can control getting fat. I can control it. Fat is so ugly and disgusting. I am not going to let myself get that way. I can fucking control what I put in my mouth. I may not be able to do much about my saggy face, but I don’t have to have a big gut to go with it! I need to lose about 20 pounds, but 10 would be good enough. 

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