19/03/2018

Just another day of waking up feeling like crap and eventually feeling better by evening. 

I woke up with a really fast beating heart early in the morning. My body was tired so I wanted to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. So I laid there awake looking at my child’s beautiful face who was sleeping next to me. Then I started thinking all sort of things and my anxiety got worse. Almost felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I got up to drink water and put a soothing music to try to sleep. I eventually did fall asleep but woke up 15 mins later, slept again, woke up again,this continued several times for the next 2 hours until I had to really get up to start the day. Dragged myself off bed. Got Everything done. But I felt like crap the whole time. I don’t know why can’t I ever have a normal morning! I just walk around with no energy and with a heavy feeling in my heart. 

My little boy was such a good kid today, he always is though. Had him stay home Because he had mild fever last night. He says the funniest things. Tried to feed him rice which he didn’t want to eat so he told me he won’t eat it because it makes his poop smell weird! My kid is gross. Lol. I laughed so hard. He is the only thing that makes me feel sane and alive! 

I’m so tired today. I got a lot of things done. I love to keep busy because it takes my mind off some crazy thoughts. 

I am hoping tomorrow going to be better. 

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