He finally chilled out and he kept telling me he cared for me a lot and didn’t want me to leave…..he wanted me to stay with him.  I just  can’t seem to escape him.  I have nowhere else to go and no money.  We don’t even have any groceries and I can’t go to a food pantry because I don’t have a New Mexico ID.  I don’t know what to do.  He won’t actively search for a job.   I don’t know what to do.  Maybe I should go to an Al-Anon meeting.  Maybe I’ll learn to deal with him and his shit.  2 weeks ago he was a happy drunk and easy to deal with.  Something snapped in him and now he’s a mean drunk.  I’m not even sure what happened last night.  All I know is I started to toss and turn pretty bad which is really not unusual for me at some point during the night and it usually doesn’t last long.  I sat up in bed and he accused me of tossing and turning on purpose to keep him from coming to bed.  And he started yelling at me again.  I ended up leaving for a while and he started begging me to just come back.  I shouldn’t have.  I should have gone to a shelter.

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