Being an ex-wife

Recently, I went to pick up my grandson from my ex husband. They were 20 minutes late arriving home after church. I did not receive a call as to why they were late. My husband and I sat in the parking lot waiting. We had passed on lunch waiting to take my grandson and making sure we were on time for the agreed upon time so my ex husband would not be late to work. But we sat. They decided to stop and eat without letting us know. We would have gladly accommodated this. However we waited.

While we waited in this parking lot, I am left to stare at a sign displayed in their bedroom. It’s a slate stone with his last name painted on it surrounded with purple flowers. As I sat and waited, the more hurtful this sign became. My ex husband and I had bought it during our good times in marriage. It was a time when we where happy and as a solid couple. It represented death do us part. Here it sat in the windowsill of his and his new wife’s bedroom. I continued to sit, waiting on my grandson not knowing when they’d arrive, staring at these memories. The more I saw it the more upset I got that it was in the same room as their martial bed. How could he give her what I had bought. He should have given it to our child.

He finally shows up. I get my grandson and the sign. He’s been all threatening that if I get confrontation again that he will call the police. He expects me to accept his rudeness and the anything goes mentality. He also owes me $6900. He was also late with his payment. Ironically he couldn’t pay me in full but him and his new wife can pay for their house and remodeling in full without paying me.

I guess I am the bad ex wife because I only wanted him to be considerate and let me know he was being late. I guess I am horrible that I want to be paid what he owes me. I guess I am even more horrible that I was upset that what I bought hung in her room. Then he tells my daughter if I am ugly again he’s calling the cops.

I have been learning in my small group Bible study about grace. I listened to a lady who had someone come onto her property and did damage. A friend of hers wanted to call the cops. The lady stopped her friend and said she’d let her lawyer handle it. She asked who her lawyer was and she replied God. This elderly lady has handled life with such grace. I want to be just like her when it comes to my ex husband. I want to be that example. I want to forgive him; and not dwell in anger.

My prayer today is for God to teach me to have the grace of this elderly woman and the ability to turn everything over to you God. I forgive my ex-husband today of all his wrong doings. I ask for you Lord to forgive him also. I ask for you to soften his heart for those times I have to deal with him when it involves my grandson. I ask for him to be a positive example with my grandson and not a negative one. I pray my grandson is never a pawn between his parents and grandparents. I pray for guidance and peace. Amen.

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