Wednesday March 21st

Ugh. It’s going to be a LONG day. My mother fucking smoke detector started beeping in the middle of the night. It’s the same one that did it before. I’ve already replaced the battery. What the fuck? I’ve only lived there for 5 months. How is it possible the fucking battery is already dead again??? I took it down this morning but it’s still goddam beeping. I put the actual smoke detector out in the garage, but I can still hear beeping. Where the fuck is that coming from??? I didn’t have the time to deal with it this morning. I will have to deal with it when I get home- whenever that is. Poor John is going to have to listen to it all day. I feel bad about that. 

My mother stayed at my house last night. Ugh. I get so frustrated with her. First of all, she parks in my driveway. Is that not bad manners if you are the guest? To take the hosts parking spot. Next, when I walk in, she’s got all the fucking lights on- like electricity is goddam free. She had tried to use my phone charger which I have ziptied to the plug so it won’t come out, and pulled it apart, but didn’t even bother to tell me she had done that. When I got home, she went upstairs, blaring her ipad. She hasn’t seen me in fucking weeks, and she goes upstairs to play on her device instead of talk to me. Nice. THEN , calls me while I’m getting my hair done because she can’t get the internet to work! I’m sure it was something she had done because I have had zero issues with internet since I lived there, and she comes and messes it up. I had to fix that when I got home so I wouldn’t miss my online class. I marvel at the lack of manners she has. I don’t understand. My Mammaw was not rude like that. I guess my Mammaw just didn’t teach her any manners- she really has none. I think my Mammaw just thought it was funny when she was rude when she was a child. My sister and I have learned manners from our friends’ homes and by watching others. My brother has no manners, either. My mother gets pissed when I say we are white trash, but she sure acts like it sometimes. I am going to be sure to talk to Lisa about this when I see her next week. I want to know if I can say something to my mother about her bad manners. Once Bethany is back in Lex and moved in her house, I’m sure my mother will stay there, anyway. Not with me. I could make jokes about its no wonder my dad drank, having to live with her, but even though she is a huge pain in the ass, that’s not why he drank. I know he had to have been miserable with her. They were so different. He was quiet and neat. She is so messy and in everyone’s business. My dad was a mess in his own way, but he came by it honest. His father was an alcoholic, and his childhood was probably as dysfunctional as mine. I wish I knew more about it. My mother did have good grandparents that helped raise her even though my Mammaw was definitely not mother of the year. My Mammaw enabled my mother a lot. She wrote her college papers for her and shit like that. She did so much for her that she shouldn’t have. 

I do feel like my kids have managed to not be completely destroyed by my fucked up family. At least there’s that. 

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