So there’s this one particular friend that the husband has that refuses to let our marriage be and keeps on insisting on stirring up arguments between us. Karma is doing my work for me so I will just sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
He’s bff with the husband. They met in college and were room mates until the friend got married. The friend’s wife didn’t want my husband to be around her husband back before me because until my husband met me, he didn’t have a steady girlfriend. She didn’t invite him up to their house to have dinner. Since the husband works in our city and they live an hour away, he would lied to her in the past and just stop by my husband’s house. I come to find out the reason she didn’t want her husband to be around mine was she believed my husband was a “bad influence” on her husband.
So fast forward to a few years later and my husband got engaged then married. Suddenly she’s inviting my husband to dinner on a weeknight (usually Mondays through Thursdays) because that’s when she has time to their house to have dinner. She knows that I wouldn’t be able to make it if it’s set it strictly at 6pm because I don’t get off of work until 6pm. The drive is an hour away. So of course, the husband and I end up arguing over this.
I mean, normally I wouldn’t give a crap if my husband hangs out with his friends but I do mind it if it cuts into my time with him, more about this later. She doesn’t want her husband to spend time in San Jose alone with my husband because she doesn’t trust them. Hence, her husband lies to her whenever he’s at our place. She wants to be there to “supervise” them. I wouldn’t mind it if their house was like 15 minutes away. However, their place is an hour away, without traffic. Since it’s on a weeknight, there is traffic going up there and coming back home, about 2 hours each way, total of 4 hours.
So going back to taking time away from my bonding with my husband. We have different work schedules. I start work an hour or two earlier than he does and I stay later at the office on certain days. He works weekends while I have them off. Here’s the thing, my dear readers, I do take days off to spend time with my husband. The husband’s friend and his wife are teachers; they get weekends off and they get breaks when school is out. This means that when school is on a break, her husband can see my husband on their days off during the day when I’m at work and she’s off doing things with their child. Then there are minimum days where they’re home early from work. Meanwhile the only times I have with my husband is weeknights and weekends (after he comes home from work). I’ve made it known to them that it’s rare for us to have days where we spend 4-6 hours together before bedtime (unless one of us has the day off). Yet the wife still insists on the husbands seeing each other at her house.
So, going back to karma. Like I said, both husbands have plenty of free time during the week to hang out. My husband’s bff works 15 minutes away from our house and it takes 1 hr, 45 mins to 2 hrs to get home, so why not spend that at our place with my husband while I”m at work? I mean, everyone wins. I’m in no way happy about this happening to their child…however, it goes to show that karma is real. So, their first child, about 2 years old, keeps having health problems. First surgery for her ear infections and now the dentist finds out she has a lot of cavities, more than usual for a 2 year old. Every single time the two men meet, the husband’s bff always has a sad story to tell about their child. I mean, what do you expect? Y’all knew from the get-go that I was not happy with y’all asking my husband to drive up to your place on a weeknight knowing damn well I can’t go. Y’all know that if the men wants to hang out, freaking just hang out, without the wives. I’m not bff with his wife. Hell, my personality clashes with hers. I’m more free-spirited and I believe letting a child be a child (ie, jump in the mud, grass, etc…whatever makes the kid happy). There’s a reason they have showers and soap to wash up afterwards. I would think I would know a thing or two about how my method can work as well. I mean, I took care of my niece and nephew since they were newborns. My niece is at UC Irvine and she was in the GATE program in high school. My nephew is in that right now. He can unlock random computers protected by passwords. Yes, he can guess passwords. Lol. My niece and nephew are in college and high school now performing well in school and life. I’m sorry but your child is what, 2 years old?
Everyone wonders why I don’t want to do a double date with them. I always tell my husband why I don’t like hanging out with them. First off, I don’t get along with the wife AT ALL. She always has to act superior, like her methods are the best. I am not comfortable being anywhere near her. We grew up in different worlds. I grew up exploring, making mistakes, and learning to handle everything on my own. She grew up with wealthy parents making everything perfect for her. If someone does something that bothers me, I confront them. If I were to go grocery shopping, we would end up with mostly junk and processed foods. But my husband loves reading nutrition labels and making healthy foods so he does that. My husband hates numbers so I keep the monthly receipts and reconcile the credit cards and bank statements. If my husband were to make financial decisions without asking me, we would go bankrupt. I have a college degree in Business Operations so I handle our finances. It’s different than what the movies or society portrays where the wife is a spendthrift and the husband is the miser. BUT and a big BUT, it works for us.
Just because movies portray the women wanting to just be home with a family or are happy with with being staying horizontally in their careers doesn’t mean every woman is like that. I may be a wife but I sure as hell dream of becoming an executive or at the very least a manager. I’m not happy being in the same position for 10+ years.
But I digress. Going back to the husbands hanging out, my whole rant is, they should be hanging out during the days when they’re both free without us, the wives there. I am perfectly secure in knowing that my husband is not going to do anything behind my back when I’m at work. I know all they do is play video games, eat and drink. What I’m not OKAY with is when my husband has to drive 2-4 hours just to see his bff because his wife doesn’t want them to be alone together without her supervision.
Btw, plenty of people have babies. Plenty of people have different parenting methods and their kids turned out to become productive citizens of society.