I have a terrible headache again. Ugh. It has gotten progressively worse all day. I did get my resume and cover letter prepared and mailed for that state job today. We’ll see, I suppose. It is on a year to year basis. If I get it, I will do a kick ass job to try to keep it, obviously, but it would also give me the time to finish my principal degree. I could possibly never have to teach again. Even though I do like it some days, it is expensive and exhausting and doesn’t pay well. Shit, I would make more money simply by not teaching even with the same salary simply because I have to spend money every week buying pencils and glue sticks and colored pencils and Clorox Wipes and tissues, etc. The list goes on and on. If I want to have it, I have to buy it. I like the idea of having an office. That sounds really lovely. I could work normal hours and not work on the weekends. I would make about 18K more at the state job, I think. I would like to break the 6-figure barrier before I retire. That is my goal.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 48 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."