If you’re not interested, then don’t pretend

I don’t have the time to waste obsessing over whether S will pay me any attention. He’s on holiday this week and honestly, any interaction has to start with him. He’d told me not to have too much fun and forget about him while he’s away but honestly, it’s more fun sleeping with somebody you actually know. He had promised me a drink before but that never happened and I honestly don’t think he’s bothered. Therefore neither can I be.

We last slept together on Thursday. He text me after, as he usually does. However as this seems to be the only occasion, I’m going to leave it. Sex is what I want, sex is what I’m getting. No need to complain. 

I do however want it to be really good. Obviously we need to get to know each other in that sense. I had teased him about how he’d promised to put me over his knee and he essentially told me not to worry and that he’d follow through. I want to experiment with more intense bondage but I can’t gauge whether he’s into that yet… I’m not sure if he’s the dominant type. Point being that I used this tame conversation as a stepping stone to try to find out his likes – this immediately shut him up, telling me it was a story for another night. Hence, our conversation ended and I resorted to asking L instead. Unsurprisingly he told me everything. It was a little out of the box and so I understand why he may have been apprehensive. Equally however, this isn’t a relationship – I’ll do whatever you want, just make sure you return the favour.

I pretended to send him a message on Friday, but didn’t send anything. Prompting him to check up on me. We talked a little but not much. In the end though I ended up seeing L that afternoon. He came to pick me up, brought me lunch and we drove around just chatting and playing about a little. L decided to send him a few photos of us, just hanging out, and then later one of my bare bum. He’d started writing a message to me at that point but he never sent it. This is a really weird feature but it’s interesting.

L told me that he really needs to see me again, apparently it bugs him that he didn’t make me cum. If only all guys were like that. And no, I genuinely believe he means it. To be fair to him, he is much too big for the car we were trying to have sex in.

It has prompted him to ask me one million questions about what I like and although I know, there’s a lot I don’t know. This is what this is about. Figuring it out. Everybody should have casual sex. I’m learning a lot.

Getting to know L is like having a second boyfriend and I am a little concerned I might start to like him too much. He did however tell me he gets ‘bored’ of head, and that he can’t remember the last time a girl made him cum with their mouth and let’s be honest, competition on. And yes, I understand that’s exactly what he was aiming for with that comment.

I realised recently that men belittling women for being ‘bad’ at head is one big joke revolving around the fact that most men won’t or aren’t very good at returning the favour. Ever since then I’ve been extremely unfazed and enjoyed it a hell of a lot more.

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