[232] ~*Tue – 03/27/18*~

[8:41 pm]

I’m about to go seriously crazy. I had came up with a few different things to write on my big bro’s tombstone and mom had picked the one she liked the most. Everything was going well until I saw the stone and saw that two words were being repeated in the sentence so then I felt it was too much. That said, I tried to find another word to replace one of those word but could only find one and I’m not too keen of that one word, it doesn’t set well with me. I asked a few people to see if I should keep the two repeating words or change one and of course, they keep telling to change the one word. I keep repeating the sentence out loud and it just doesn’t sound right. I keep asking people and they tell me to change the way I’ve wrote it which goes to another thing I had written but mom hadn’t picked that one. Now I think I will go with this other sentence instead cause it just seems to be easier but I don’t know if mom will be okay with it. I also still have a problem with this one cause I don’t know if I should use one word or another. Both person I asked about it put it the same way but I don’t think I like that way but I’m so unsure. I just want it to be perfect and can’t seem to find the right way. I talked about it with my cousin and then against myself, I ended up texting my other brother to see what he thought. It’s still undecided and he left me with a “Having a hard time with that aren’t ya” YES I AM!! I’m just so glad that mom picked out what was on hers herself when my dad passed so when she passes (hopefully in another 50 yrs from now) I won’t have to go through all of this cause it’s already on their tombstone.

So that’s one thing I’m having a hard time with right now. The other thing, me being “sick”. I went to see the doc today and like I already knew, no help. He said that antibiotics wouldn’t help me at this point and that maybe it was allergies. I am allergic to my cats but it normally only bothers my eyes so I don’t know why it would of suddenly became this bad. It could be possible, he kinda explain how it could be, but I’m still not sure about that. I was sick back in Dec and this all started after me being sick so I still believe it’s related to that and not allergies. If I wouldn’t of been sick then I would of accepted it but not this way. He’s sending me for allergies test but that won’t help any as I already know I’m allergic to my cats, it will just confirm it although with the way it’s going, I wouldn’t be surprise it would come out that I am NOT allergic to them but I can tell you, I AM. I’m also NOT getting rid of them. I will start taking pills for allergies and hope that helps cause as much as I don’t want to get rid of my cats, I also don’t want to live this way for the next few years. He told me to keep taking the nasal spray and that was about it. It’s just the pain, I have such pressure in the head and nose area. Today was just so bad, the worst I had it. I wanted to go to the movies with hub but couldn’t, I went to lay down for a few hours but my head was just pounding. It’s better now but gosh. Is there really nothing that can be done to help me?! Just doesn’t sound right but that’s my luck.

Back to what I was saying a few days ago; today I could sorta sleep in and what happened last night?! Yup, I read maybe five pages, if that, and fell asleep. Every time I need to sleep early I could read all night and need to force myself to stop reading and go sleep. When I can sleep in, I just fall asleep and don’t read. Arg!

I woke up at 10 am this morning to get my car to the doc and get myself to the doc. Haha! It was funny cause hub went in the back of my car and told me to use the brake to see if it was burn out. He looked very puzzled so I asked him what was wrong and he was like “Well, both your brake lights are working so I don’t understand why people are telling you that one is burned out.” Hahaha! Means I did a good job. I told him I had changed it myself yesterday so he said now that I could do things myself I didn’t have any use for him. Poor thing! I pretty much do everything around the house and outside and now I took away the one thing he could of done. I sorta feel bad now that I’m thinking about it. Maybe I should of let him do it.

So we went to the doc and we all know what happened there. No help! We then went out to eat as I had to get a shop done. I now feel that I wasted a day we could of spent together but I really wasn’t feeling with my head hurting so much. I got out of bed at 5 pm to go get my car. If it wouldn’t of been of that, I would of stayed in bed. I had planned on getting back in bed afterward but I started thinking about that tombstone and here I am four hours later. My mom is at the movies right now so I need to wait another hour before being able to call her and see what she thinks of the new sentence. I just hope she will agree cause if not, I really think I will go crazy over it. That big bro of mine.. gone and still giving me a hard time. Gotta love him!

Ohh! I just thought of something else to “complain” about cause, it’s what I do. I went on my farming game earlier and had an answer from the support team which of course, they don’t want to help me out cause it was after all, my mistake. That’s frustrating but understandable. The thing is, apparently the mission was glitching for some people so they decided to give the reward to everyone. Now I have two of the reward. Are you kidding me?! Not only did I spend those RC and didn’t get the freaking tree (due to my mistake) but everyone now has the reward for FREE. If I would of waited a few days before doing this mistake, I would of gotten the darn thing for FREE. This is totally unfair. If the mission was glitching and they ended up giving the reward to everyone, they should repay the people that spent on it to get the reward. This is totally unfair and just made me even more upset so I wrote back to them but have to wait till tomorrow for an answer. The game is just making me super mad and I still want to delete it but I’ve spent so much time on it that I just feel I’ve invested too much in it to just leave it like that. Blah! That’s my awesome luck for ya. Out of any time I could of made a mistake, I make it now when they do this which just makes my situation worse.

Alright, I think that covers everything for now.




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