march twenty-seventh

I am going to start to make room in my heart for myself. I live a wonderful life in my little bubble of a college town, with my friends and the most amazing and loving guy. I have so much to be thankful for. Yet I struggle with loving myself and accepting who I am and what I stand for. I am terrified of not being good enough, and of becoming a burden. Instead of confronting these issues I see in myself I blame them on the traumatic experiences of my childhood, but that isn’t going to fly anymore. I have to forgive myself for holding onto things, and learn to let them go. I want to see myself the way he sees me. I’ve never felt more love and worth than I do when I’m in his arms, he gives me confidence, and encouragement, and is just a brilliant human being. At this point in my life I have never been happier, I have made so much progress, but it’s time to grow up and create myself rather than hold onto what was created for me. I need to let go. Of grudges, of hurt, of any negative energy that I can. I need to put myself first, and truly do what is good for me rather than let myself go as I struggle to put everyone else together. I want a new lease on life, and I am going to believe in myself and forgive myself for holding on to pain.

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