29/03/2018

2:24 am

It’s been a while since I stayed up until this late. My face is screaming tired but my mind is racing. Feels like some sort of anxiety attack : over thinking, over analysing, self loathing!

I normally calm myself down in situations like this but tonight it feels like I’m not in touch with my inner self! 

I feel lost and scared. 

So it started after he and I talked again 2 days ago. He actually convinced me to take him back, he did! I’m so fucking stupid. How could I have not respected myself enough!! I had been nothing but angry at him for last 48 hours Because I don’t know why! I love him but it also felt like I had a lot of venting out to do. I wanted us But at the same time I didn’t and I was mad at myself for wanting us back! Like how stupid I can be to actually let this Man in my life again. 

His exact words were -” you’re worth fighting for. I made a mistake and Ill never do it again. I’m sorry. ” 

2 days after we come back he tells me “no I can’t fight anymore”

Wth!! 

So he came back just to do this! 

It seems like he didn’t want me to move on so he had to come back to claim me, to make me stay wondering! 

I’m so mad at myself right now! 

I’m a very stupid woman who sometimes forgets to use her logic and goes by emotions. I’m an epidome of stupidity! 

I basically allowed him to humiliate me one more time.

He came back to dump me because he couldnt handke being dumped! I don’t know if that’s what it really is because why the fuck would he want to get back for 2 days! 

I’m not even mad at him. I’m mad at myself because this time it’s clearly me who hurt me and not anybody! 

Stupid bitch! 

Learn already, You stupid bitch! 

Never take back a fucking Narcissist. 

 

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