Spilling my thoughts,
To tell you the truth, I don’t know where on earth I’m going with life, and it scares me. real bad. I wish I had it all planned out in the first place, the moment I enrolled in a university. But I was so naive to not think about how difficult life can be, after graduating. Instead, all these time I tried spending time doing what I love and enjoying various kinds of hobbies.
I guess you can say I’m in that ‘unemployed Fresh Grad’ phase where now I realise how hard it is to secure a full-time job with little or no experience in the field I studied. Because of that realisation is when my brain constantly whispers to me ‘you’re screwed for life’ ‘you messed up your future’. These negative thoughts continuously haunt me, and I have nothing to feel but anxious and depressed about myself. As days go by, I start to feel hopeless, unmotivated from rejections of interviews. I feel as though I am not good enough, haven’t tried hard enough. when in fact, I really did. I really feel envious of the people I know who have already started working after graduation, and it makes me feel as if I’m being left behind, missing on the things that I could achieve by now. Well, I have achieved nothing and it really puts me on my lowest level ever. This is one of the struggles I’m facing right now…
Maybe this isn’t the time for me yet. I don’t know what to expect, where life will take me but I hope there’s a reason to this, and god is figuring a way for me…somewhere better I hope