Coming Off Meds…..

I stopped the one drug yesterday and of course I didn’t sleep last night. I’m sure that I’m not sure if it’s the other med or that it’s part of the withdrawal system. I haven’t had a good sleep in months. Could be to much sugar, could be the meds., could be I’m sick and not knowing it, could be not exercising, who knows. I did to much speed when I was younger and did drugs for fun….long list…don’t like needles and I think that saved me from main lining different ones. I loved speed and took alot. I don’t see where the attraction is to coke, not speedy enough. So the Dr. knowing that I did drugs when I was teens and twenty’s and early thirty’s thinks I’m Bipolar 2….well maybe it’s just that this is what happens with your mind on drugs! Anyway…Big Fat Girl Kat doesn’t understand why she isn’t getting food yet. I need to keep her on her schedule as she will just be up at 2 everyday. I want my coffee but it’s all our pattern. I’ll feed her soon. My 20 yr. old great nephew is home for spring brake from college. I’ve decided to not to try to see him. He’s here with his girlfriend who is nice and I can reasonably engage her. But after I picked him up at the airport a while back I’ve decided to just let it go. There’s no conversation with him, I’m sure that it’s my fault and it’s also my thoughts that say what I’m saying and that there may not be a thing behind it. But if he can’t talk with me except when I ask question after question then I’m not doing it. It was horribly uncomfortable. We should of just pretended I was a Uber driver and sat in the back with his earphones. F*&^*%! It’s just another relationship I’ve messed up and I except that as it’s common for me to do that. Invite me to the graduation and to the wedding and family stuff….If it doesn’t matter to him then it’s only me who is stressing about it. Anyway….It’s a good work cycle to stop the Meds. as I can sorta do this cycle with not much sleep…I’m hyper and that will work for awhile….Thanks

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