I need to lose weight. That’s a given. I am 28 years old and I am like 212 lbs. But I’ve tried just about everything under the sun! I can’t seem to commit to the gym, or fancy diets. But I need to do something to get myself out of this funk.
I want to save up for a house. Excuse me, I am saving up for a house, but my goal is to be living inside of my house and celebrate my 30th birthday in said house. I also want to have a housewarming party and invite my friends over.
I want to be a good pet owner to Ollie, my beautiful rescue dog. He is such a good boy. Nearly perfect for a puppy, you know, when he is not peeing in the carpet. My new house is going to have to have hardwood floor because vacuuming is such a chore and he sheds…alot.
I want to be the perfect daughter. I do. But its hard when so many of my personal desires differ from those of my mom. She wants a grandchild. She wants to be a grandma. But whenever I talk to her seriously about the topic she tells me that she’s kidding and that its not important but you can tell she really wants grandchildren.
I don’t want children. Being a victim of sexual child abuse gives you a whole different perspective in life. I can’t guarantee that any child that I bring into the world will be safe.
I want to be financially stable. Not rich, not fancy cars or fancy clothes, just stable.
I’ve given up on trying to find a boyfriend, or as my friends say “A man”, simply because I know that I’m easy to get along with, or the most outgoing. I always try to look at things logically as apposed to emotionally. My mom says that I’m just like my father. “Cold heart” and “Closed heart” are words that come to my mind as well as the car ride to the flea market where this conversation look place.
I’m going to go back to work.