I’m finding myself mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, skipping parts in an anime show just to get it over with, and feeling like i missed something today…more like feeling like i forgot something? idk but all I want right now is to have a decent conversation with someone about (about to be selfish here) myself and my problems and my stresses and i’m just going through the same cycle of telling myself “I can’t” statements.My eyes hurt everytime I look at the screeen. I’ve been looking at screens for too long these past few weeks. I’m on my bed. Laptop on my thighs with Pluto staring directly at me and kai to his right flopped on his right side snoozing away. I feel tired. No resltess. I feel restlesss. Now i’m blowing bubbles with my mouth. A cold beer is helping me out. I didn’t exercise today so it’s probably why i’m feeling this way. I’m hagnign out witha freind and i’m having these stupid fantasies about us fucking. it’s annoying and worrisome because i’ve realized that everytime I make a female friend my intentions aren’t to be nice because they’re a fellow human. It’s because I’m thinking of them as a conquest and it makes my skin crawl finally accepting this and being aware of it. I’m probably just horny. Plus she may not even hang out if she doesn’t get off of work early so meh. m E E H H. At least I’m being honest with myself.
I'm growing. With every entry. With everything I read. Obviously. Like everyone else. I"m selfish. I hate the word but I am. I try not to be. I've found this website to be a great emotional outlet for the few times that I've written on here. Enjoy the jumbled mess.