I neglect my self care a lot. Unless I need to go somewhere, I sit at home with unwashed hair and weeks old pajamas. My room reflects my state of mind: utter chaos and disorganization with something motivational unburied if you dig around enough. I wish I could go on a retreat…or escape this life if I could. I can, but…Just want to cuddle B***. Do something happy. What is happy, though? I forget. I need stronger benzos. Or to be hit by a car. Maybe both.