4/3/18 — Alcohol Makes Me Horny

So I just found out last night that alcohol makes me lust more than usual. A lot more. I hung out with Marcus all day yesterday. Me, him, and his friend Chancy got ourselves some alcohol (courtesy of my moi) but thankfully it wasn’t expensive. I ended up going to Marcus’ house to spend the night. There was no way I was going in my house stumbling around like an idiot.

So we sat outside talking for a bit before going inside. We went lay in his bed and watched a movie. To be honest I can’t even remember the name of the movie or what it was about. I was drunk, slurring my words, but at the time I was in a perfect mindset. I could think clearly. I don’t know where I grew the balls but out of the blue without thinking I asked him, “Do you want me to suck your dick?” I usually never make the first move. I wait for my partner to suggest something. This shocked me, but he did let me suck his dick of course. And for the first time it didn’t feel awkward. Like usually it was in his truck (which is very uncomfortable), in my bedroom (where I would freak out every time I heard someone in my apartment), or at the public park (where of course I’d freak out for obvious reasons).

My memory gets a little hazy from here on out. I think I remember we alternated sucking dicks. He’s getting a lot better at blowing me. I’m getting better too. Deep-throating without choking or making noise. I love knowing that I can make him feel good. At one point he suggested sticking it in my ass. Before he’d always been against it. He didn’t want his dick where shit comes out of. But here he was asking to fuck me. I said no. I’m not comfortable with that. As much as I want to please this guy, I do not want to be in pain while I’m drunk. That’d suck.

Honestly, I can’t even remember clearly if he came or not. I honestly don’t remember getting him off. I have a slight memory tugging at the edge of my mind, a memory in which I did taste his cum shooting into my mouth, but honestly it’s so hard to tell if it’s real or if my mind’s making it up.

Oh, something else unexpected happened. We made out. I don’t really know how much or for how long. But we did. We didn’t talk about it the next day, but I do for a fact know that we spent a good bit locking lips and exchanging saliva. It was nice. I really enjoyed it. I didn’t think I’d have this much fun with Marcus. But man oh man, was last night enjoyable! I am scared that I came on too strong. I mean, I was drunk, I told him I do stupid things when I’m drunk, he shouldn’t complain. I did get him off after all. I just hope he enjoyed last night as much as I did.

We’re not even “boyfriends”. We’re just friends with benefits. But seriously though last night was one of the hottest nights I’ve ever had. It reminded me of a porno I might have seen once. 

I’m done ranting about how amazing last night was. I kinda wish I was sober during it so I could remember every last sexy detail, but without the alcohol not much might have happened because I would have been too chicken to suggest something.

Going to bed soon. Going see a movie tomorrow morning with Mercedes. I just got out of the shower. I feel refreshed. Goodnight, journal.

10:45 PM
4/3/18

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