Wednesday April 4th

I did pretty good with eating all day until I went and met Erica and drank 3 beers and ate the shittiest food ever- I will never go to that restaurant again. I don’t even understand how it stays open. It is gross. My head is killing me right now and I don’t have any ibuprofen or tylenol in the house. I am going to go to the store soon. The temp dropped fucking 30 degrees overnight, but I’m still going on my walk today. I only went last night because I wanted to see Erica. I really love her. She is precious. One of my favorite friends. I need to stay off FB and stop wasting so much time just sitting. Watching TV and staring at the computer. That does not help me at all. I feel so sad and depressed and frustrated that I am all alone- that I will never have a man in my life like John Carter. Ha. I know that sounds stupid and delusional, but it’s true. He is the perfect man albeit fictional. I don’t want to be alone- I really don’t, but I don’t see that I have much choice. I spent a lot of time and $22 creeping on David yesterday. He doesn’t have a fb anymore and he’s still married. He’s even wearing a ring now. He is co-dependent. That wife of his is a looney toon, but he’s choosing to stay there. She is a fucking high school dropout and threatens to kill herself if he tries to leave her, so there you go. He’s an idiot. He did me wrong, anyway. I should never speak to him or want to speak to him again. I need to stop looking back for answers. I am the worst about doing that. 

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