Day 1

Something like this is supposed to help me vent my frustrations as I’m constantly engulfed by despair, self-loathing, guilt and shame. 

Today marks one of the saddest days of my life as I’m breaking up and moving out from my partner of 8 years, it’s difficult because we live together and we have two kittens. Kittens aren’t even remotely in the same bracket as children but it’s sad that they will have to live without one of us, that “one” being me. I didn’t think I would get very attached to them as I’m not a big animal person but I’ll miss them very much. My life is going to drastically change over the next coming weeks and months, moving back in with my parents, which I’m so incredibly grateful for. Whilst looking for a new job and just trying to keep my head above water.

I don’t want every entrant I ever type to regard my ex girlfriend but if she ever does find her way here. I just want to say thank you for everything that you ever did for me, I love you very much and I always will. I hope you find happiness and achieve everything you want and deserve.

I doubt anybody will ever read any of these entries as I have no plans to advertise them but if people do happen to stumble upon them, don’t take pity on me. I don’t want nor deserve it. I don’t want all of these entries to be miserable and resonate a “woe is me” theme.

I will try to remain positive and hope I can grow and become a better person. 

I’m trying to keep myself busy today by tidying up the flat, packing my belongings and spending a bit of time with the cats. I’m also playing on my White Mage in Final Fantasy XIV Online. I recently hit level 50 which is the original level cap, so my friend Josh has been helping me out with some end-game content. The soundtrack is amazing, I’m going to leave a link here for one of my favourite pieces. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q16MONsB2t0

My plans for this evening are to look for jobs, maybe write a new wrestling article and play a bit of Counter-Strike and FIFA with one of my best friends to try and take my mind off everything.

Until tomorrow, 

Edd

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