errends

He’s out of alcohol and money and I’m refusing to get him more.  He’s had the shakes all day.  He’s been totally uninterested in sex.  I’m assuming it’s because of the DTs.  I just made a special trip to the grocery store for cottage cheese and sunflower seeds since he mentioned he wanted some.  I know he mentioned it so I’d probably go get some for him, and that’s ok.  He’s scarfing the cottage cheese.  He’s been eating on the corn dogs mostly for the past couple of days.  At least he’s eating something.  I’m kinda feeling ignored but I’m trying to brush it off as the DTs kicking in.  All I can do is be here for him if he needs me for anything.  Al-Anon says to quit doing anything for him and worry about me.  I can’t just not care for him and let him sit there and suffer alone.  He did thank me for it though.  I think maybe my own insecurity must be kicking in.   This is 2 trips out he’s wanted something today.  I can’t help but wonder if he’s been calling the bitch and doing it on the sly when I’m not around.  I just wish if he’d rather be with her he would just move on to her and leave me be and let me get over him.

I worry that I’ll lose him once he gets and stays sober.  But him being sober is what’s best for him. Not me.

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