Left out

Ok, I’ve left a bit of information out of thus journal cause i dont like putting everything out in the great unknown but i think it’s a vital piece. I had this emotional affair and am infatuated with this guy. I love my husband but my husband cannot get a erection. I haven’t had a satifyying sex life in a lot of years. Is that why i can’t seem to let this thing drop? Because Im just wanting some decent sex? Not that, that would make it ok but is that why? We’ve always been able to make it satifying in one way or another but now im wanting the actual sex is what im wanting. We make it work with masterbation and forplay but the sex is very sad and mostly dry humping.  I dont even want to have sex with him anymore. He cant swallow pills and dosent believe in them. Do i just want the sex now because there is a possible partener interested? I dont even know if hes really interested but there was a possibility of it. Yet again my head is totally fucked up right now uugghhhg!!

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