My Head is about to explode

To anyone that can help me with what my voices inside my head is doing to me. I am so tired of fighting the voices all the time, sometimes I just want to give in and go away from all the problems in the world. Every time something good happens to me like me meeting the love of my life which is my soul mate , I  can get these voices inside my head that tell me things like Ur not good enough for him and one day he is going leave like everyone else did because nobody will ever love you and I dont tell him most of this like I want too because I dont want to scare him away from me, he means too much to me to lose him at all, all I can say is that I LOVE HIM with ALL MY HEART.! The voices gets even worse when me and mama get into a fight or any family member at all. The voices started when I in my early teens like 12 years old because I would get bullied at school and then my dad would become emotional abusing when he would get drunk or high, and it didn’t stop there it got worse when I got my first boyfriend in high school Jason McDowell. I thought he was the love of my life but it turns out he was an abuser of women and I would hide the bruises that would come from him in school with makeup before I got home and he is the one that has started me off the way I am today with closed up and not wanting to talk to anyone at all because while we dated he would say that I am ugly , fat, worthless to love, I am a sorry piece of crap of girlfriend , I dont deserve to be loved at all , I deserved to be lonely. I am so tired of the voices inside my head I wish they would just go away some how, I am tired of sleepless nights, of waking up with tears in my eyes because of an nightmare, and most of all I am tired of having to close myself off to everyone I love with my whole heart just in case I scare them away with my mind and feelings. I just to figure out a way I can get them away so I can focus on the ones that I truly love like my boyfriend, mom,dad, nephew, niece, sister, brother. Please help me if you can!

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