I was hoping my thoughts were just paranoia talking. Not only is he not touching me he doesn’t want me touching him either. I guess it’s going to be a downhill slide from here before I lose him to someone else. I’ve stood by him and put up with his shit and now it looks like it’s been all for nothing. He only tells me he loves me if I instigate it first. It was a nice thought that a man loved me. Now that he’s sober he sees the real me…..the me that’s fat and ugly. To ugly to love.