2:26am

Yes, it’s indeed 2:07am( I stayed up reading a book) where I live and I just want to let this out of my chest.

I want to be happy when I grow old. I want to be completely and unconditionally, happy. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and just say ‘I did it’. I want to find peace within myself, I want to be finally comfortable in my own skin, I want to stop comparing myself to others, I want to grow and mature and find serenity and peace with myself.

My mind is buzzing with hope. It’s singing out to me but my fingers just can’t seem to keep up. I just had a great epiphany now. And this time it actually feels real. I’ve been a very sad person most of my life about the things I didn’t have in life, rather than appreciating what I have in front of me. I’ve come to realize that I can’t hate myself now, since I’ll have only myself in the end. So I just have to work with what I have and just keep going on with life, since life always goes forward. 

I’m also so happy to be alive right now. I’m just so fucking grateful to just merely exist in this world. It’s simply magical if you think about it.

I just feel peaceful right now and I feel like a heavyweight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t know what I’m texting but I just want to say that I’m grateful and I’ll only try to better myself from today because in the end, we are the one’s who live with ourselves and I don’t want to feel the dark feeling of regret. Because if there’s one thing greater than failure, it’s regret. 

I want to say a lot more things but it’s a pity my fingers can’t seem to move with my thoughts. So this will have to do.

Hopeful,

     S

 

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