done for the last time

I’m done with him.  He keeps insisting that he hasn’t been with anyone else.  I know better because his mustache wouldn’t have smelled like pussy this morning when I kissed him.  He doesn’t realize all the signs are there that he’s cheating on me.  When the third of next month comes I’m going to pack up and go back to Dallas.  I’m going to be living on the streets because I just can’t afford housing there.  I’m going to leave Murray with Ian.  Ian loves Murray and vice versa.  I hope whatever woman he moves in with will accept Murray and be good to him.  I should have known better than to trust a man again.  Ian keeps insisting that he hasn’t been with anybody else so I told him I believed him to shut him up.  He just doesn’t seem to realize all the signs are there that he’s cheating.  He went from being a sex fiend like me to a cold fish in less than 12 hours.  He was suppose to be at work but I realize now he probably wasn’t.  He was probably with the pregnant bitch.  He needs to be with her anyway.  If she’s having his baby he needs to go take care of her and his son/daughter.  I hope he’s happy with her.  I’m sure she’s pretty and has a nice body, unlike me.  No matter what I do and the space I give a man they never stay or tell me the truth.  Since the divorce nobody stays for more than a one night stand.   The only reason I agreed to meet Ian is because I thought he’d come in have sex and disappear.   I almost want to believe Ian that he’s been faithful to me.  No man is ever faithful to me.  That’s probably because I’m so fat and ugly, truly repulsive.  I’ve done so much for him and to be treated like this.  Even Wesley waited til I went to sleep and snuck out on me.  Why do I only attract men like this.  I’ve done everything I can to keep him interested in me in bed and out.  Ian sleeps all day and stays up all night.  He won’t have sex with me especially if I initiate it.  Those are classic signs of a cheater.  He went from a sex fiend and couldn’t get enough of me to cold dead fish in 12 hours.  That’s got to be some kind of rec0rd.  I really don’t know where I’m going next month but I’m going to get up and wait for Ian to go to sleep and I’m going to slip out and disappear.  I just need to make sure I don’t have sex with Ian until then.

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