I think it’s finally over.  Now to wait and see if I can get him to move out.  He came to bed but he was fully clothed and slept on top of the covers.  He always sleeps naked and under the covers with me.  I think he came to bed just before 1 am.  I went to bed about 10 last night.  That’s enough time for him to meet someone and have sex.   I don’t want it to end.  He’s so handsome and sexy and great in bed, but then again he was never mine to have or love.  He never was.  His heart always belonged to the pregnant bitch.  She’s younger and prettier I’m sure. She’s probably thin.   And I’m so ugly, fat and repulsive looking.  I’ll never attract a handsome man that’s sexy.  I’m doomed to only attract men like the one that was so fat that all he could do is stand in the corner and masturbate to get off and steal one of my hand towels.  I should be glad it lasted as long as it has before he realized what a loser I am.  I don’t want to lose him but he cheated with someone else not 2 nights ago.  I guess he knows he’s nice looking and can have any woman he wants, and did.  Why do other women catch men like Ian and keep them without them cheating on them.  In 3 days my body will go into shock without my insulin.  Should be dead in 5 or 6….I know I’ll never be missed. Especially by Ian or my mother.  Ian just proved my mother right.  I’m nothing but trash to be thrown out with the rest of the garbage.  Nobody wants me.

I’ve done so much for Ian.  I’ve put up with him being so drunk some nights he peed in the bed several times causing me to have to change the sheets every time and wash them all by my self.  I’ve spent all my excess money feeding him and putting a roof over his head.  He’s spent less than $50 on me in one month on food and gas for my car after he’s run it all out.  I’ve stood right by his side the last 5 days watching him go through DTs.  All I ever wanted from him was a little physical attention (sex)  and he’s pretty much denied me that.  I guess I can’t blame him since I’m so fat and ugly.  No man will ever want me.

He even complained last night because I expected sex from him.  That was the whole reason we met….from Adult Friend Finder, a site to meet people for sex.

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