Tuesday 4/10/18 – Starting new relationship

As a single mom it is really hard to juggle full-time job, home maintenance, and my daughter yet still take time for myself.  I joined an activity group.  I mainly joined it to make friends.  All my girl friends are married with older kids.  They are focused on their kids activities.  The one single friend I have is in a relationship and has no children. 

I went to my first event, which was a horror movie night.  I met a nice women E.  I also met the host.  I really did not meet more because we were all focused on the movies.  The 2nd one I went to was at Ts house.  It was mardi gras themed.  I wore a beautiful white mask.  I met some more people.  On women, L I’ve become very good friends with.  She has no kids, but understands the whole kid thing.  I also met a guy J.  However, he was interested in L.  Which is fine because the host, his friend T sent me a message afterwards to hook up with him on facebook.  I did.  With just one answer to his valentine question on FB all of a sudden we were talking all the time.  I went out with him on valentines day.

We said we would only be fwbs, but as we saw each other at other events and I spent the night with him it as bloomed into a relationship.  Last weekend he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes.  I’ll admit this is my 2nd relationship since divorce and I’m still scared.  I have a young daughter and am very protective.  I’m 45 and have been divorced almost 4 years.  He is older and has older boys.   He’s told me multiple times he is still hurt from his ex-girlfriend, yet he tells me he is ready for a relationship.  I do have my doubts about this relationship.  He makes me laugh and smile all the time.  Sex is great between us.  Its the best sex I’ve had in a long time.  He is already planning on us doing things during the summer together.  We will still attend these group events, but as a couple. 

I’m worried I’ll get attached and he’ll break my heart. I broke up with a guy who finally told me he loved me and wanted a solid relationship with me.  I did this because I wanted to be with T.  I felt more whole with him. Did I do the right thing?  Should I have stayed with the other guy even though I was not happy?  It was solid.  It was safe. 

I have to also think of my daughter.  If this new relationship goes strong is he right for her?  Does he really want to be with someone that has such a young child?

So many questions, not too many answers.  I try not to analyze too much and just go with the flow.  I focus on work, my house, and my daughter to help with it.  T has a very strong personality and there is something that draws me in.  He is kind and passionate.  I really want this to work between us.

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