April showers

11 April 2018 – So where are we now, I graduate from a military school tomorrow. If I haven’t mentioned before now I’m military, Army to be as specific as I need to be. I’m sadly not going to be in the honors list but that is my fault. I need to spend more time training in the gym more than just cardio which is my favorite thing to do as well. However, I made it and at this point be able to go home and sleep in my own bed every night is reward enough. I’ve decided to go to talk to a retention recruiter tomorrow after graduation about career options and essentially what college classes I need to retake. Most requirements for programs in the military have changed to needing college classes to be within the last 3 years and well I’m about 5 years out of college now. Also that little grace that your employer will rarely ever care what your GPA was if you get your degree doesn’t hold true in the military. The old 3 degrees in four years while working full time and being involved in extra curriculars counts for jack all unfortunately. Although I know if I go back I’ll do better this time; fewer classes and less distractions.

On another somewhat military somewhat not note I’ve been toying with getting surgery on my foot. I have an extra bone in my foot which happens to about 5% of folks nothing unusual. It also doesn’t always become symptomatic but if it does you either choose to live with the pain or have it removed at the risk of tendons, ligaments and muscles the it may be right in the middle of. However, when you run and go to the gym on a 5-6 day a week basis it hurts at least for me. It’s  like having a peeble stuck in your shoe only it’s under the skin and doesn’t go away when you take your shoes off. I’m just uneasy resulting to surgery first and hoping that stretching and resting it will have some effect will update on it with time though.

Hubby because what would my journal entries be without mentioning him. Well oh Lordy let’s see, he got a job for one week and was let go at an expense of having to move his tools to work and then back of about $160. He hasn’t found anything since, he’s had two interviews nothing amazing to be honest. Although I have been harping on him and screw whatever sensitive, depressed or whatever sensibilities you claim when you are on 6-7 months without really working. When I come home for good this week we’re having the discussion of apply for Wal-Mart, target, McDonald’s etc because until you can find a better job you will at least have an income. My patience on the matter is gone, if he doesn’t like that option he has two others: 1 give up his debit card to the joint account so he doesn’t continue to buy cigarettes, video games and take out. Or 2 move back home with his father and let him support him. It’s perhaps cruel and I understand for better or for worse in our vows but if you’ve read previous entries you know that not working when we live in the second most expensive state, not attempting to or accepting any type of job, hemorrhaging money, not cleaning, not taking care of yourself, and not carrying on an adult relationship with your wife when we’re still essentially newlyweds when you are neither disabled mentally or physically is not acceptable. When you are in a relationship whether dating or married there is usually the idea that you love the other person so much that you want to share, contribute and put forth some kind of effort to make them happy, healthy and supported to some extent. When it becomes incredibly one sided it strains you and makes you wonder why you’re in the relationship. Oh well that’s all for now, marriage counseling is also on the book for next week too. I’m open to understanding if I’m doing things to adversely affect our relationship and I’m sure that I am. However, as I explained to him I’m angry, unhappy and growing increasingly depressed with the situation as it stands and looking to do whatever I can to address the situation because I don’t want this to be the rest of my life.

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