maybe you are like Buddha

Hola hermano,
You know Im going to costa rica? I guess you do cause mom said she told you. I didn’t think I could go at first but with katie I will go. Ill go for you because you aren’t able to. Maybe you can watch my channel for a little while and see what it’s like. Just don’t watch me while I pee k? Don’t think I have to tell you that.. just saying… I hope you aren’t mad at some things we are doing now that you see everything, now that you know everything. We do things cause we’re still angry we’re still pissed and there’s nothing we can do about it, I mean we can try to be less angry but it’s just hard. You probably understand. Just know if I disappoint you or do something to make you angry it wasn’t intentional maybe just a stupid mistake or maybe it was intentional and I was just mad. I don’t know. I remember things now that I wish I would’ve done. That I could’ve done. Like see you on your birthday, go snowboarding with you, see you more, call you more, text you more, just done more. It’s hard to play this game in my head of I wish this or if only that. I wish I would’ve seen you more and if only you left a second later. If only the lady didn’t pick up those car keys. If only this if only that. It’s all just bullshit. And I don’t know when this bullshit of a life will get easier. 

But maybe you are like Buddha or Gandhi and don’t get mad or frustrated. Maybe your some know it all angel (the best damn lookin angel up there obviously) that flips through the channels and smiles. I hope you are smiling.

Smile On bro, until I see you again,
Sincerely,
your big sis

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