So on Friday my husband and I decided I will go off birth control. We aren’t going to actively try to have a baby but if it happens, it happens. With this decision came an increase in sex drive for both of us. Usually, we have sex once a week, due to our schedules and how tired work makes both of us. But just this weekend we had sex twice. It was great. My love for him has gotten so much stronger since we made this decision. Not that I didn’t love him before. He is my best friend and knows me better than literally anyone. But the fact that he wants to have a baby (he told me himself without any pushing) is so…grown up of him. I was talking to a friend and she said the most important thing is that we both are mentally and emotionally ready (well as much as we can be before actually experiencing it). I’m worried about school but the coordinator said the school is really supportive of women having babies, so that’s encouraging. We also have extremely supportive families so that’s going to help a lot. I’m very proud of myself that I didn’t push him towards this. He came to this decision on his own (unlike our engagement and marriage). I told him I really wanted a baby but not until he is ready. It’s one thing to push him to get married (something he tells me he doesn’t regret) but having a baby is a whole other thing. THat’s another life on the line.
In other news, I am doing SO much better with not overeating. I feel like every day it gets easier for me to listen to my body when it tells me I am full. Perhaps I am still eating more than a person should but I am leaps and bounds from where I was just a couple months ago. Yesterday I made meatballs and spaghetti and I didn’t go back for seconds. On Saturday I went out to eat and got my favorite…a steak dinner. Guess what?! I took a little less than half the steak home with me and ate it for lunch the next day! That is huge for me. Steak is my absolute favorite food so for me to not eat the whole because it tastes good is…just amazing to me.
My problem now is my exercise or lack thereof. Today I slipped and fell on ice (yeah, in the middle of April. Thanks Northern NY) and wasn’t able to get up by myself because my knees aren’t able to support me. Fortnately, some nice lady came over and helped me up but it was sooo embarrassing. I had a complete breakdown when I went home to drive hubby to work. I am now wearing my fitbit again and I am going to try and reach my daily goals on that for steps. That’s at least a step (haha, pun intended) in the right direction. It is especially important for me now that a baby might be a possibility in the near future. I want to be able to do things with my kids and not be in pain all the time.
Anyways, I have to get back to studying. I stopped so I could write this because it’s been nagging me all morning.