Wednesday April 18th

OMG, my life might be getting better. I am afraid to hope for it too much, but I do think this might work out with Greg. I feel dumb saying that since we haven’t even been on a date yet, but we’ve been texting for 10 days now, and I like him more and more. He has no game whatsoever. He is who he is. Holy fuck is that refreshing. He wants a relationship and he is a really, really good man. He is kind and giving and so different from Brent or Craig or anyone I’ve ever dated, really. I always pick assholes that treat me terrible. That’s typical ACOA stuff. My parents treated me like I didn’t matter, so I pick men that treat me that way because it’s all I know. Let’s hope I’m making a better choice this time. It certainly seems that way. 

I just want to be happy. I don’t know if I deserve to be happy- maybe not, but I want to be. There’s something about me that had the need for someone that shares my past in some way. That shit with Bradlee was because he was from Barbourville and I had worked for his dad in high school and we had some shared history even though the two of us had no direct history.  The same thing with Greg- I only remember one time he and I were ever in the same place, even, but we know the same people and that is somehow comforting to me. Hopefully we will have a good weekend and I will still feel positive about it all on Monday. 

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