lost for good

It’s finally over.  He picked a fight with me this morning as he was getting out of bed.  I finally told him to quit acting like he cared about me.  Every since I came back in the apartment he won’t look at me, won’t talk to me….he’s totally ignoring me.  So I guess everyone was right.  He’s just using me for what he could get and never cared for me.  He only cared about my pocket book and what he could get from it.  I’m tired of begging for sex and attention. I’m right about the fact that no man would ever want me.  I hate feeling so unwanted but it was inevitable that I finally realize I’m not wanted and never will be by anyone. 

He’s sitting across the table from me hiding what he’s doing on his phone.  He’s probably texting the rich, pregnant bitch.

Now he’s receiving texts.  Probably from her.

He won’t t even hold my hand.   He went through his phone and told me how the rich, pregnant bitch was a psycho and he had messed around with her only once.  I find that hard to believe since he seemed to be texting her very intimate texts up until the third week in February  (3 weeks after he moved in with me).  I’ve tried numerous times to tell him how I’m feeling and how his behavior makes me feel and think he’s cheating and that I feel neglected.  He won’t let me speak or tell him.  He’s really drunk right now and acting like he loves me and is acting contrite about how he feels about me.  I want to be drunk or high or something right now so I don’t have to feel what I’m feeling.  He has to be drunk to approach me for sex and even then that’s  rare that he does any more.  I’ve tried to tell him I want it more than once a month.  For several weeks things were so great and we were getting along so well.  He came to me for sex twice a day.

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