“SILENCED AND GASLIGHTED”

How does it feel to be silenced every day? From the start, your voice is not only unheard. It often gets dismissed.

Not every family is happy…or is it just yours? You’ve always felt like the unwanted child. The freak. Your opinions are considered ridiculous. They’ll never (want to ) understand you.

That’s why you grew up quiet. Most of the time, you’re just silent. They don’t really care what you think or how you feel. They never ask. Once they know, they don’t want to be blamed. Instead, they often make the same excuse: “Why didn’t you say something? You should’ve told us!”

They just want you to shut up and obey. That’s it. Don’t spoil other people’s fun. So you feel almost nothing but like a ghost, a shadow. An extra, but rather an irrelevant presence in the room. An additional cast people will hardly remember.

Choose your friends wisely. How does that work? Most of the time, no idea. You simply follow your gut feeling.

Eventually, people come and go. Only those who understand you best (try to) stay. It’s a simple, yet also complicated natural selection. The list of your BFFs and other VIPs can change in time, sometimes rather dramatically.

It can be easy to get away from toxic, manipulative friends. They tend to hide behind their lame excuses, like: “I’m just joking!” as they bully you over and over again. Just leave them, just like that.

Then how about work and relationships?

Work is work. It’s all about being professional. No complaining all the time. One must always be tough. If you’re not given what’s been promised, then pretend it’s enough. Let’s not look for trouble.

With relationships, it all depends. If you have the confidence, you’ll know when they do more harm than good. If not, you’ll find yourself stuck with them, even when you no longer wish to. Forget blabbing about their shortcomings to people. There are two possibilities, though:

  1. They call you stupid for putting up with them.
  2. They think you should be more patient with them. Perhaps, who knows, you have your own shortcomings too that they can’t stand.

Still, you’re the one who should know when enough is enough.

Okay, so you’ve lived your life feeling silenced and gaslighted most of the time. It’s hard to stay that way.

However, life is also short. Perhaps you haven’t ventured out to seek more happiness than being stuck under their gloomy sky. How long are you planning to stay there? When is ‘too long’ considered ‘too much’?

Time to break free or change things as you can. Take back your life.

 

R.

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