24 hours

My first 24 hours cigarette free. I have to admit, it hasn’t been too awful bad. The worst part has been breaking the routine. Driving, waking up in the morning, getting home from work, going on a lunch break…

Its all about the routine. For instance, I woke up this morning, generally the first thing I do is step outside and smoke a cigarette. This morning however, I didn’t do that. I was almost a little lost and didn’t really know what to do. So I just started getting ready for work. I was good up until I actually got in the car to drive my step-son to school, and then the frustration took over because of the traffic and trains of my small town. I left the pack of cigarettes I have at home, and I’m glad I did so I had no choice in the matter.  I’m trying to just stay busy… whenever I get a craving, I try to just think of something else or get up and do something. Another reason maybe I started this journal. I really want to save my lungs. Before, I remember wanting to quit but I loved smoking so much, I wasn’t “ready” to stop. This time is different.. I honestly feel like my lungs are giving out and my chest hurts all the time. It scares the shit out of me because I fear that I have something serious like COPD or Emphysema… which is probably not true.. but I really want to prevent it. 

Mentally, I am ready to change my body around.  I don’t want to smoke anymore and I wont. I want to be a healthier me… I want to maintain a good weight and actually be active and able to keep up with my 2 year old son. He deserves me and I cant give him my all if I’m destroying my body.

Here’s to no longer destroying my body!

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