Mind

Last night he finally came to me but only after I brought sex up again.  He seemed like he was feeling a connection again.  This morning he almost seems distant.  I keep wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has things on his mind dealing with us going to Phoenix.  We need (and he knows) the money is going to be worse than tight.  I just don’t know if I’m going to have enough to pay cell phones, gas to get there and for the room.  We’re both looking for ways to somehow come up with extra money.  He has taken on the task of finding us a place to stay if our original choice tanks out since we’re going to have to wait until the last minute to make the reservation.  Went to  circle k to get a soda and he rode with me…I was surprised because he normally wants to stay home.  I can’t wait to see where the future takes us and I’m scared of what could happen if he really is planning on being with someone else once there and using me to get there.  I have repeatedly given him an out and offering to give him money to get there and me going to Dallas.  I would be homeless in Dallas but know most of the hiding places and where I can pitch a tent to stay in that.  He really hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him other than our sex life tanking out.  Apparently his communication with the rich pregnant bitch has pretty much ceased….at least ceased to be obvious.  My texts are the only ones showing up openly on his cell phone.  He’s remarked a couple of times that we can let his cell phone go for a month which he wouldn’t want to do if he was still hot and heavy with her….with anyone really.  I have to keep reminding myself if he was still interested in the bitch why would he be willing to move to Phoenix and leave her behind, unless he’s planning on moving her with us on the sly.  At this point I have no way of knowing for sure.  I’m scared to go and chance him bringing her along or going there to be with someone else and I’m excited to move him there to get him away from her and them off each other’s radar.  He’s referred to her several times as a psycho bitch that blew up his phone with texts and getting angry when he didn’t answer immediately.  I saw that pretty much every time she texted him he did answer her within a reasonable time.  He keeps telling me he’s not chatting up other women or even looking for one,  that I’m the only one he wants.  Could he be intentionally withholding sex to make it better when we do.  I’ve noticed that lately when we do have sex he always has an orgasm now.  Maybe  that’s why he’s withholding sex.  IDK.  I wish someone would enlighten me about men’s ways or ideas.  I thought I had a small grasp of how men were but I don’t.  Men are usually sex fiends.  I know occasionally you find one that isn’t.  Men are still confusing to me.

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