Not sure

We went for a long walk to Albertsons and then to Chevron a few days ago.  He wants to go for another long walk again today.  Wish we had some  cash so we could get soda’s on the way back.  Off and on here lately he doesn’t want to be out of my presents.  Except for yesterday when he was gone an hour and a half.  I still can’t get him to come to me without my prompting.  I want to blame the ADD (I was diagnosed with ADHD and had this problem) for his lack of interest.  Maybe he just likes having me initiate sex.  IDK…He’s still the only man I want.  I fantasize about him….sometimes I wish I had it in me to cheat so I could get more sex but I just don’t have it in me.  I can’t do to him what was done to me.  It’s wrong.  I’ve tried braking up with him and he’s just not having any of it.  When I’ve threatened to go to Dallas instead of Phoenix with him he has a fit.  I’d have to live on the street in Dallas since nothing there is affordable.  He says he doesn’t want Murray and me living on the streets….that we don’t deserve that.  I had planned that if I did go to Dallas I’d send Murray with him because I know he’d have a roof over his head.  Murray doesn’t deserve to live on the street.  We had to live on the street for about a week in Amarillo during the heat of the summer.  We hated it.  I hated seeing Murray so hot. 

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