[255] ~*Fri – 04/27/18*~

[11:36 pm]

I’m so discouraged right now. I just want to curl up in a blanket and stay there for a month or so. Being an adult totally sucks and I wish I could run away from it sometimes. At least maybe run away from my job. When you feel low and you have to listen and guide others in their life, it can be harsh. I sometime feel like screaming “My life ain’t gold either.” as they see you as a strong person with a somewhat perfect life. It’s as if that because you’re a worker, you don’t have no trouble or worries. We’re still humans and still need to go with the flow of life.

I’m just being on the depressive side right now because I let every little things affect me and it’s just building up. I still haven’t tried to get that glue off the window which I meant to try tonight but the time is going by way too fast. I walked to the mail after work and checked the lawn while I was coming back and the dryness and cracks on my lawn is just driving me crazy and I don’t know if I can fix it. I’m almost tempted to call someone but I know it will cost way too much. I also saw all the ant hills and gosh, it’s horrible. That’s another thing I’d want to get rid of and have no idea how. I tried fixing the headliner in my car and just ended up putting glue on my fingers which doesn’t go away. I had done one side a few years ago and didn’t have any trouble at all. Today thought, whole other story. I even put a glove so I wouldn’t end up putting glue on my fingers but when I was trying to press on the liner, it would just stick to my glove so I had to do it with my bare fingers so yea.. I’m not even sure if it totally worked cause it didn’t seem to want to stay glued. I surely didn’t have that much trouble with the other side when I did it. It glued no prob and still is after at least two years.

Another thing about my dear car, someone hit it, AGAIN. When I was putting stuff in the trunk I saw some scratches that weren’t there before so someone hit my car today. Unbelievable! I mean, it’s only scratches but still.. come on! My car has so many scratches from people hitting it and never once did someone come forward with it. The only times were when someone did major damage to it, where I needed to replace parts. I’m thankful that they at least did come forward at those times cause one time was $5000 worth and the other $1000. But I can’t believe how many time someone hit this poor car. It’s a magnet to accidents but I love it so much. This is why I’m debating so much on putting money on painting it as it will be scratched again in no time. I just don’t want it to rust, that’s the prob.

I’ve received some bills today and that just discouraged me cause every thing is going up but my paycheck surely isn’t. The water bill just went up almost $10 and the power bill didn’t go down enough to my liking. I was looking at numbers from this year and last to see if I would be fine with the equalize but I’m doubting. I’m $315 in the hole and I don’t know if I’ll manage to make it in the next three months but I hope cause I don’t want the power bill to go up as well for the next equalize year which starts in Sep.

Blah! Enough about all these problems or I will sit here and cry. I’ve already been sitting here for the past hour not really doing anything. I haven’t even watched a show or played on my farming game and it’s almost midnight. Where is time going?! I had planned on doing a few things tonight and looks like I won’t be doing any of it. I should be heading to bed to at least read but I really don’t feel like going to bed. 

I did end up doing good last night. I wasn’t going to call my mom but I did. That said, most of the time, when I talk on the phone I will be cleaning so while I was talking to her I put away the dishes that were in the dishwasher, filled it and washed what needed to be washed by hand. I fed the suggies and put what was in the dryer in the basket. I also went outside to give a good clean to the dryer filter thing. When I went to bed, I took the basket of clothes with me and put it all away. Woohoo!

I just didn’t felt like sleeping last night. I had to finish the book I was reading. I finished it it was 2:30 am. That wasn’t enough for me, I started reading the book mom got me for my Bday and read until almost 3:30. I’m very bad with reading!

For some reason I checked the jail place last night before sleeping. I guess cause the book I was reading talked about people going to jail. I still want to go spend a night in jail but the price is now around $100 for two. Crazy! I wonder if I could contact the guy for a rebate. I wonder if he remembers me and what are his reasons for never getting back to me last year. I’m still super pissed about it but I still would like the experience.

Alright, I’ve done enough writing for tonight. Time to head to bed if I want to read some before sleeping. I had started a show but I will just leave it cause then I’d be going to bed way too late and will regret it in the morning.




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