well ive never believed that journaling ever would be helpful. But the mind set i am in, im going to give it a try. It was another hard day. Went to see becky pa-c. Gonna start bac on my lexapro. Idk how this is gonna work. Gotta stop feeling sorry for myself. Ive done it so long though. I have so much sorrow on my heart mixed with a little bitterness. Ug. I miss my mom that i had been at odds with so many years. So much junk in my head about this. Everybody is at odds with each other and it feels like a slow agonizing death. I am at a loss as to what to do. Then theres shawn. I dont know what to do for him. He doesnt take very good care of himself and is losing friends whether they die or disappear. Ken and i seem to be the only one that care. He wont shower. And he has an offensive odor. Idk.said enough for one night.