Family Vacation?


So we just found out yesterday that we are going on a family trip in June to Sayulita Mexico at aunt sarah’s place. Mom was kinda bummed that no one responded to her text when she told us but there’s a thing. A major thing about this trip that has everyone with a loss of words. We want to be excited and in a way we are of course. But that thing is you. You are gone. You won’t be there. You are lost off in your own vacation someone that we don’t know about somewhere we only dream of going. Somewhere I wish I could go to and see you. Talk to you. I still Tell myself every single day. It isn’t real. It still just does not seem real J!! I seriously still just can’t imagine the thought of you being really gone and of never seeing your face again. Everything we do everything I do I am reminded you aren’t ever going to be there for me to talk to or to share with. I won’t be able to share  the stories and adventures with you. Which is why I am asking. Please J tell me you are okay. Show me you are okay. Show me you are still with us and still watching our channels and still interested in our lives. Show me you are still out there somewhere. Still alive someway somehow. 

What is a family vacation without you? What is a family anything without you? There will always be something missing something wrong. I really hope you can still see us and still travel the world while watching us. Maybe you can see the world right now. Probably I don’t see why not. That’d be pretty messed up if you couldn’t see everything and know everything. It’s the least that could happen to us. Is there a higher power? Is there a place you go to after you die? Is there something to believe in? Is there a place to believe in? What should we call it? What does it look like? What do YOU look like? Obviously you look good but beneath the stylish clothes you where what do you look like? Are you translucent are you a solid form are you glowing or dull? All things I think about every single day. This just does not get easier. Just doesn’t I swear. 

Please be with us when we go to Mexico. Please be with me when I go to Costa Rica and Sonoma State. Please be with me every day. Do you hear me? Do you see me? Is there anything you wish us to do? Or wish to say to us?

Please show us that you are with us.. Not only on the trip to Mexico but show us you are here everyday looking after us. Show us you aren’t just gone and that you still think of us. Please. 

I love you so much. Everything has changed. Everything is different. 



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