OMG

I can’t believe this.   He’s getting obnoxious again.   I’m doing everything I can to keep things smoothed over but I’m having a hard time.   He just went into the bathroom claiming to need time alone with his music.   I can’t help but wonder if he’s trying to hook up with someone else since he can’t get it up with me.   I’m afraid to stay and I’m afraid to leave.  No matter what I do I can’t win.   He wants to fight.   I’m trying everything I can to keep the peace.   I’m scared of him….of what he’s going to do.   He threw me on the bed the other night and then jerked me off on the floor, hitting my tailbone and now I’m in major pain.   My hip is hurting and shooting pain into my kneecap ankle.   I can’t leave because I don’t have any money to go anywhere.   He spent it all on beer.   Now he has his own money and I know he will drink it up fast.  I want out so bad but I can’t leave Murray behind.   I don’t have anywhere to go.   Mom won’t help me.  I know that.  If he gets arrested we’re both out with no recourse and no refund on the room.   I’m so scared of what he’s going to do.  He’s been so angry since we got here I don’t know what to do.  I’m scared that he’s going to hurt me.   He wasn’t like this in Albuquerque.  What happened?

I’d go to a shelter but they won’t take Murray and I will not put him in a cage to live in until I can get settled.   The last time I did that I lost my therapy cat.   I can’t let that happen again.   I’ll die first. 

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