over and over

He’s peed the bed again and he’s still asleep.  Ian wouldn’t believe it that he’s peeing in the bed until one day he was laying in bed awake and peed the bed right there in front of me and I pointed it out to him.  I can’t believe he just keeps on drinking and passing out like this and does it over and over again and doesn’t back off his drinking or at least wear adult diapers to stop it.  I’m going to have to wash everything again tonight.  This makes 3 days in a row.  On top of that Murray ate a small piece of plastic from off a cigarette box.  Ian smokes like a chimney.  I’m praying like hell he passes it rather than me having to take him to a vet.  It’ll cost a mint to get it taken care of and I don’t think Ian will be willing to pay for it. 

Why?  Why the hell does this always happen to me.  All I ever find are losers, they cause damage that I can’t afford to pay for and they refuse to help fix it.  I’m so scared for Murray.  Maybe I should have gone ahead and left the other night with Murray.  The last time Murray and I spent a week in the car was in Amarillo and one day it got up to 105 and we barely got through it.  Thankfully I knew where to get free ice to put in his water and pour it on him when the heat got to be too much for him and was able to keep him cool.  I just can’t handle losing Murray right now.  He’s my little angel and my little savior.  I don’t know what I would do without him.

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