fell

Well,  looks like the other shoe has fell.  He took an hour nap and got up to go to the bathroom and dropped something and when I came to check on him he started yelling at me.  I knew it was too good to be true.  Looks like he’s g0ing to be going for beer soon.  He just took out his last 2.  I can’t wait until next month when I can leave.  I don’t want to go back to Dallas because I will have to live on the streets with Murray.  It’s too hot even there for that.  I don’t know where to go.  I could afford that place we were at in Albuquerque but I don’t think I could stand the place since that’s where I met Ian to start with and shared the room there with him.  Ian can’t even remember the room number we stayed in while there.  I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t get my hopes up that things would change.  Nothing ever will… I’ll find nothing but jerks that don’t want me or just want to use me for money or whatever else like sex.  I can’t do this any more.  All I wanted was a companion….a human male for a companion, lover and friend.  I just have to accept the fact that that will never happen.  Not in this lifetime or any other I’m sure.

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